Shadow Work is an Absolute Catalyst for Transformation
Shadow work provides the opportunity to dissolve the once unconscious egocentric aspects of self so that you can be who you truly are and experience the life you truly desire.
To fully integrate aspects of false self “shadow” you must have compassion for yourself for these once unconscious egocentric behaviours. You must remember that you were doing the best you could with your previous experience and resources available.
Once you’ve forgiven yourself you’ll notice you have the same level of compassion for others who are exhibiting the same egocentric behaviours. You’ll notice these egocentric behaviours in others, however you won’t be emotionally reactive or triggered by them.
Compassion and tolerance are not the same thing.
If you’re in a relationship and your partner is behaving in a way that triggers you, this is an opportunity for you to do the inner shadow work and get real and complete with yourself before initiating the conversation with them.
You are creating your reality and only you have the ability to change it.
It’s way too easy to point the finger at others. Most people aren’t able to integrate shadow because they’re not willing to take responsibility and own their humanness and imperfection, they’re also not willing to be seen in their vulnerability.
You must be prepared to allow yourself to be witnessed in imperfection, to be vulnerable and to take responsibility for how you’ve been allowing others to show up for you.
Before you initiate conversation with your partner, get clear on your answers to these questions.
Where in life am I constantly in survival mode (fight/flight)?
Where in life have I been out of integrity with others and myself?
Where have I been abandoning myself to play a role for others?
What can I take responsibility for?
What is the vulnerable part of myself that I’ve been hiding from others?
What am I longing for?
What am I committed to?
What is the change I’d like to experience and the difference it would make?
Once you’ve been real with yourself and done the inner shadow work, get consent from your partner for the conversation by asking: “When is a good time to speak with you about something that’s important to me?”
When it comes to engaging in the conversation, share with them all that you’ve discovered from answering the above questions.
Note – shadow work can be done in all relationships not just with significant other.
If you’d like to find out more about how I can support you, please be in touch.
“Thanks for today Kate. It was a big burden off my shoulders to just have a 100% authentic conversation. Thanks for listening and helping. It gives me much more confidence to have the chat. Much appreciated!”