Sex has become a chore – I’m about to change your mind!

Nutrition is a choice.

Exercise is a choice.

Sexual Intimacy is a choice.

You can choose it to be a chore OR you can choose it to be a life-giving blessing and medicine.

We choose a partner based on many factors, one of these being their libido. If someone has no libido or sexual desire for you, it simply makes you un-attracted to them.

There’s an innate and primal knowing that the partner we choose influences the quality of our life and life expectancy.

Life gifts you with a significant other and through them you have the opportunity to access a wellspring of lifeforce energy, and they access this wellspring of lifeforce energy through you. Physical affection and sexual connection create an exchange of hormones in each of you that brings health, vitality, harmony, longevity, regulation, peace, beauty, sexiness, confidence, success, ecstasy and bliss.

Look at the couples in your life, particularly those who are more mature/elderly. There might not be many but the ones who look most alive, vital, youthful, motivated, inspired, playful, with that “twinkle in the eye”, are sexually active and empowered.

“The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.” ~ Esther Perel

You have a choice…

You can believe that you’re not having sex anymore because you don’t need it, it’s a chore or you’re getting older.


You can believe that investing some time and energy into developing, up levelling and embodying the skills you need will give you access to new levels of connection, curiosity, understanding, pleasure and relaxation. And with this comes new levels of vitality, longevity, health, harmony, confidence, beauty, sexiness, success and so much more than just pleasure and climax.

Desire is equally important as love and appreciation in Intimate Relationships. You desire to have sex with each other and that’s what makes the relationship an “Intimate Relationship”.

If you don’t desire your partner, someone else will. If you’re not invested in taking care of your partner’s needs, someone else will. This is how infidelity happens!

If you’re carrying resent, you can’t be resentful and aroused at the same time. These are two very different neural pathways. I can support you in letting go of resentful heaviness.

Still believing – “It’s all just too hard.”

This is because you don’t have the skills yet. That’s what I’m here for and this is where I help.

If you’re interested in finding out more about how I can support you, please be in touch.

Kate Alderman

Somatic Sexologist, Sexological Bodyworker, Intimacy & Relationships Coach

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