How to build sexual intimacy

I often hear clients express that they feel one of the reasons why their relationship has become sex-less is because the physical attraction is not what it used to be.

So before we get to the practical steps on how to build sexual intimacy, it’s important to accept that our physical bodies are ever changing.

Bodies undergo lots of changes as we age. We can lose our hair or it goes grey, our body changes shape, and our skin changes texture. We are in fact drying out. When we get into partnership with someone we are never promised that their body will stay the same, and neither will ours. We need to let go of what was, and choose how our partner’s body is, every day.

The ageing process and “drying out” has a considerable affect on a vulva. It’s no longer as naturally lubricated as it was. This means that penis in vagina sex can feel uncomfortable. When time, care and attention become priority, penis is vagina sex can still be enjoyed. Other types of physical intimacy are incredibly important. A shift in focus to sensual experiences, with no agenda to penetrate, often leads to the more sexual experiences.

This shift in focus also opens us up to a wider range of pleasurable experiences. Sex is far more than orgasm. Orgasm is just one part of sex.

When we shift our focus and drop our agenda, instantly the intensity diffuses, we’re fully open to the moment and aware of what really matters. The only agenda that really matters is love. To express, share, feel and be love. This peaceful, harmonious, and fertile space holds the magic of pleasure potential.

How to build Sexual Intimacy:

Create and set up a space for intimacy and let your partner know that you have no expectation for the intimacy to look a certain way. Shift the focus away from penis in vagina sex and be open to sex looking different. Foreplay is essentially, other types of sex. Somatic Sexologists remodel the word “foreplay” by taking away the “fore” and using the word “play” on it’s own.

You’re growing and evolving together and getting to know each other again and again. Activate innocence, curiosity and playfulness, give yourself and your partner space to show up differently and be expressed in new ways. Discover something new about yourself and your partner. Most importantly, have fun!