Vibrators – Warning!
Women buy vibrators for a variety of reasons, including: feeling sexually unfulfilled, relationship lacks the depth of intimacy she desires.
The vibrator is used as the “trustworthy” path to climax.
There’s little awareness or warning when buying vibrators on the effect over stimulating has on the nervous system. This high stimulus pathway to climax very soon becomes the only pathway to climax. Like a train track from point A to point B – using the vibrator soon becomes the only way to get to point B. Imagine a jungle has grown over all of the other pathways due to the now under whelming response from human touch. The vibrator is now needed during self-pleasure and sexual intimacy with partner to achieve climax.
Every heterosexual male client I’ve worked with has expressed desire to please their partner. Men place a lot of emphasis on being able to please their partner with their hands and penis. If you feel deeply into our heart and being, regardless of gender and sexuality, you’ll likely feel an innate desire to please and support your partner in their pleasure. Touching our partner in a way that is pleasing to them also feels good for us, the experience is shared. I feel empathy for anyone who feels deflated due to being unable to please their partner without the use of a vibrator. I also feel empathy for anyone who has unknowingly created a very limited experience and narrow pathway to pleasure.
Open communication with a partner about the impact the vibrator is having on the connection can feel very vulnerable, and because of this, most will avoid due to fear, not knowing how to initiate or navigate the conversation.
What the nervous system needs is a reset, and this involves not using the vibrator during self-pleasure practice or during intimacy with partner. This takes commitment and dedication as it’s likely there’ll be no orgasm until the nervous system has had a chance to reset.
Clients ask: How long does it take for the nervous system to reset?
The answer is unique for each person and will depend upon many factors.
It’s important to know that the nervous system responds much more quickly than most people realise. Most people automatically think of how long it takes the body to respond when aiming to build muscle training in the gym. Yes, building muscle can take months, even years to see results. The nervous system is very different, it responds within weeks!
I was working with a female client last year who had become numb and uninterested in sharing sexual intimacy with her partner due to over stimulating with a vibrator. After becoming aware of the ingrained pathway to pleasure she had created with the vibrator and the impact this was having, she stopped using it – cold turkey. Within one week she shared that already she was feeling more sensation from human touch and increased desire to share intimacy with her partner.
Using a vibrator often puts the body is a hyper-vigilant and anxious state – fight or flight, the sympathetic nervous system is dominant. The orgasm is forced out of the body and the pleasure “quick buzz” is localised at the genitals.
When the body is in a relaxed and open state – rest and digest, the parasympathetic nervous system is dominant, orgasm feels much more expansive, full body pleasure and climax becomes possible.
The same can be said for watching too much pornography, the viewer can become numb and uninterested in regular intimacy. The only way to reset the brain and nervous system is to stop watching pornography – cold turkey.
There are no warnings when you buy a vibrator and there are no warnings when you watch pornography – you need to work this out for yourself. The intention of this article is to create awareness of the impact this has on pleasure, intimacy and relationships.
If you’d like to find out more about how I can support you, please be in touch.
“Thanks for today Kate. It was a big burden off my shoulders to just have a 100% authentic conversation. Thanks for listening and helping. It gives me much more confidence to have the chat. Much appreciated!”