Sexual Score Keeping Is A Turn Off
Focus on how you can create a space for your partner to feel invited and free to choose.
Ask yourself:
What am I craving?
What am I longing for?
What meaning/value does it hold to me?
Authentically share with your partner:
“I feel lonely”
“I miss connection”
“I miss touch”
“What’s happening to us?
“How might I invite you into an experience where you don’t feel pressured?”
Shift your perspective to your partner’s experience.
Don’t get stuck at the pattern/behaviour and shame your partner. Go to the meaning!
Replace shaming and criticism with the change you’d like to experience and the difference it would make in your life.
Ask in a way that invites your partner forward.
Ask them what they ARE available for:
Massage, cuddles, kissing, etc
There are few things that are less arousing, less seductive, less erotic and less inviting than pressure.
For the person with the lowered desire, ask yourself the same questions. Focus on reconnecting on an intimate level through authentic and open conversation. Express your needs, desires, what you are available for and the difference this would make in your life.
Sexual intimacy is more than an orgasm and it’s far more than penis in vagina sex. Ditch any sexual script that focuses only on penetration and orgasms.
Connect from a space of innocence and curiosity. Use sexual intimacy as an opportunity to get to know yourself and your partner.
We are sexual beings and our sexual energy demands expression. What we do and don’t do with our sexual energy determines who we are and how our life becomes.
“Take care of your partner or someone else will.” ~ Unknown
This last quote/statement speaks directly to our primal nature and jolts desire, arousal and action in most people – me included!
If you’d like to find out more about how I can support you, please be in touch to schedule a free phone conversation.
